XXXs & Ohhhs: Passionate Kisses switches positions and scores new business
“You cannot escape sex,” said Ann Sowers, owner of Passionate Kisses adult toy and novelty store at 21 Kern St. “And it’s not that big of a deal,” she continued, completely at ease in a store full of toys that she’d never bring home to her four-year-old son. Sowers happily indulges curiosity in her X-rated business, noting that “everyone has sex. Otherwise we would not be on this earth.”
At 3 p.m. on a Friday afternoon, the store is mostly empty. Sowers explains that people usually come in on their lunch breaks or after work, including an increasing number of college students as the evening wears on. Having moved in early October from its original location on Richland Avenue to its current Kern Street location, Passionate Kisses now draws even more students than before.
The store is brightly lit and the atmosphere shockingly unintimidating. You hardly even notice the sex swing hanging from the ceiling.
A sign posted above the black strappy contraption requests that customers don’t try it out themselves. But when someone asks, Sowers happily allows a test swing and explains the proper use of what may otherwise result in a less-than-sexy tangle: Two seat belt-like straps cradle one partner’s back and derriere, and stirrups on each side support the feet. (Sowers recommends a girl-on-top position as one fun option for using the swing.) A sturdy spring suspension allows for gentle bouncing in addition to the free horizontal movement of the swing. If you want one of your own, it will cost you $145.
For those with less abundant budgets — or slightly less adventurous interests — countless other cheeky treats beg to be discovered, including a wall full of T-shirts sporting messages like “My best friend vibrates” and “Please tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes.” While these lines may not work at the bars, there’s something undeniably ice breaking about poking fun at sex.
Speaking of poking, at Passionate Kisses, vibrating penis-alternatives abound. All colors, all shapes. Fat and thin. Light-up, waterproof, smooth or ribbed. Straight, or strategically bent at the tip to hit just the right spot. With rotating heads, or with rotating beads in a flexible shaft, or with clever little extensions to hit that other spot. Depending on the model, the good vibrations can cost anywhere from $16.99 to $72.99. Don’t forget the batteries.
You might also be interested in the wide assortment of lubricants available. “People ask a lot about the different lubes,” said Sowers. “Some of them break down toys, some of them don’t, some are edible, some are warm, some are cool.” And some are flavored. Can’t pick just one? Try a variety pack of prepackaged portions, including flavors like coconut, strawberry, wild cherry, grape and orange. Perhaps the most interesting, though, is the convincingly phallic package of Slick Stick. At $18 a tube, Sowers calls it the “best” lube because it contains aloe.
Not all the goodies are for below the belt. On a rack nearby you’ll find little tubs of substances called Nipple Nibblers. These tingly, flavored sensitizers also work marvelously as lip gloss, Sowers noted. The variety of tempting alternatives is seemingly endless: edible tattoos ($3.50), “for men who don’t know what foreplay is”; the Colt Hand Job Stroker ($15.99), a tubular sheath with little rubber nubs inside for enhanced stimulation; scandalous women’s apparel ($25-$30), from traditional lingerie to costumes like Little Red Riding Hood and Dr. Naughty; weighted orgasm balls ($7.99) with easy removal cords — I’ll let you figure out what those are for.
Serious about your studies? Or just need to do some research to figure out the orgasm balls? Refer to Passionate Kisses’ erotic magazines and instructional books. For group study sessions, you can also find a range of sexy games, and a large selection of adult movies, which Sowers said are extremely popular. Many movies qualify for a “2 for $20” deal, so you can find out what happens to “Long Dong: She-Male” and “Freak-a-ho.”
But maybe those plots seem a little too, um, deep, and the occasion only calls for some minor misbehavior. Lighthearted bachelorette party supplies include goofy games and decorations, like caution tape or banners depicting muscular (cartoon) men. You can also find hilariously inappropriate greeting cards for the bride, or for whoever else might appreciate one.
Bachelorette party or not, groups of 10 or more women can arrange for a private sex toy “home show” by Sowers herself or one of her knowledgeable staff members. Sowers said she books at least one home show per week. For women who may not have access to a suitable location (i.e. the sorority mom says “Hell no!” or the dorm room’s just too cramped), Passionate Kisses features a private room that can be reserved for such events. Through a home show, Passionate Kisses’ erotic inventory is thoroughly explained and made available to women in a fun, laid back setting. It may be an appealing way for naughty novices to satisfy their curiosity, especially if the thought of walking into the store alone seems daunting, although Sowers maintains that it shouldn’t. “Don’t be shy,” Sowers said. “If you make it a big deal, that’s when it becomes embarrassing.”
There’s far too much inside the store to mention here, so for your pleasure-seeking purposes, Passionate Kisses is open from noon to 10 p.m. Monday through Thursday, and noon to midnight Friday and Saturday. If you’re still a little timid or afraid of being recognized, you can always go disguised as Dr. Naughty.
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